Happy?
Some people think if you’re happy, you’re blind to reality. Research shows that happiness actually raises every business and educational outcome for the brain. It pays to be happy. I am a Cancer Survivor, I know what it’s like to be in those places that most people worry about being in, or if they have been there, they know how difficult it is-it can be a challenge to be happy. Statistically however, that while it’s difficult, it behooves us all to look at things positively.
Shawn Achor, the author of The Happiness Advantage spent 12 years researching at Harvard, and is now CEO of Good Think, Inc. What he’s learned is incredible. He realized that training your brain to be positive at work is like training your muscles at the gym; the key is to make it a habit. Of course many of us are born more positive than others, but it’s great to know that this is something we can learn, especially when things aren’t going so well. You can create “life habits”. In The Happiness Advantage he suggests several things to begin that training:
- Write down three new things we’re grateful for each day
- Write for two minutes a day describing one positive experience we’ve had over the last 24 hours;
- Meditate for two minutes, focusing on our breath going in and out, and also;
- Provide social support in our community and at the office.
These things are easy enough and apparently bring tremendous life altering results.
In the midst of the worst tax season in history, he did a three-hour intervention at auditing and tax accounting firm KPMG. He described how to reap the happiness advantage by creating one of these positive habits. Four months later, there was a 24% improvement in job and life satisfaction. Not only is change possible, this was one of the first long-term ROI (return on investment) studies proving that happiness leads to long-term quantifiable positive change.
A study, published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that those who reported feeling happiest, had a 35% reduced risk of dying compared with those who reported feeling least happy. There’s definitely something to the connection between feeling happy and being healthy.
So, if we can prioritize positivity, we can become happier. I like this idea. We can work through our challenges and see the bright side. This is very much what coaching is about; it is this feeling of empowerment that is so important to cancer survivors who may feel as though we’ve lost our way; or we’re very glad to be in the world, but don’t know where we fit in anymore. Happiness is key.
I am a big believer in positivity, I don’t think I’d be here if I wasn’t, but I don’t think that those that are told their devastating diagnosis on that oh so unforgettable day are all handed it because they hadn’t lived positive lives, or that they didn’t exercise or eat well, or that they didn’t do social service. There are those that lived those lives and still received that unwanted mind-blowing news. What I do feel is that once one is handed such dreadful news, that there are ways of dealing with these things. There are ways of looking at situations, and there’s no doubt in my mind that it is extremely helpful to look at things on the positive side. Why not? Happiness equals Healthierness-it’s not a word…I know, but I will use it here. When you’re fighting for your life, you have to use everything you’ve got. Why not throw happiness into the mix?
Gretchen Rubin, former Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Law Journal and the author of Happiness Project, a recent New York Times bestselling book, wrote about the epiphany she had one day on her way to work. She wrote, “the days are long, but the years are short, time is passing and I’m not focusing enough on the things that really matter.” On that day she decided to dedicate a year to her own happiness project and do a different thing every month that she felt would bring her happiness. She did things like tackle nagging tasks, exercise more, acknowledge the reality of people’s feelings, sing in the morning, write a children’s book, and be more enthusiastic about things. She found that the smallest changes could make the biggest difference. I think this is interesting because it didn’t take a lot for her to feel happier, and that things like these things, just very well could make a person Healthier also.
It’s not just happiness that seems to have a physical effect on us-laughing has been shown in research to have health-boosting effects as well. Researchers from the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore found that laughter had the same effect on blood vessels as exercise. I personally know that laughter has gotten me through some extremely difficult times.
The how to get happy is what often brings one to Life Coaching. Some people as I mentioned earlier are just more bent that way/born that way, some people grew up that way, and some people may need to learn it. The good news is that having read what I’ve read, that in most cases it is something that we can teach ourselves…most cases. How about those other cases?
Not So Happy-Why?
Deepak Chopra wrote in one of his Huffington Post postings Why You Don’t Want to Be Happy, about some of those other possible cases. He specifically mentioned those for instance that have low self-esteem, or the appeal of martyrdom, inner conflict and confusion, a belief that suffering is good for you, they could suffer from depression or anxiety, feel trapped by circumstances, be living with high stress, or have a resistance to being healthy. Deepak said, “these people often repeat that it’s dangerous to be too happy, on the premise that the higher you rise, the harder you fall. Society still needs therapists to deal with the mental obstacles and suffering that seem endemic in modern life. But you can’t arrive at a goal without a vision, and if a person’s vision is limited to gaining pleasure and avoiding pain, or not expecting too much out of life…your life; begin with a vision of happiness that is high enough to strive for, year after year. In my experience, the people who do that wind up being much happier than they ever supposed they could be.”
There have been several times in my personal life that I’ve had the choice to live on the darkside or see the brightside-it was a choice. We’ve all been there at times in our lives. Once you’ve survived cancer or have survived a different life-threatening situation, you change. Researchers have found that people who regularly write down things for which they are grateful in “gratitude journals” have increased satisfaction in life, higher energy levels, and improved health. In one study, people who read a letter of appreciation to someone in their lives were measurably happier still almost one month later. Performing acts of kindness or altruism, boosts moods. Twitter chat participants stressed the importance of smiling and laughing, pointing to movements like “laughter yoga” around the world. Data shows that our relationships matter too. People that engage in meaningful conversations with friends or family, report being happier than those who don’t. Close interpersonal ties and strong social support are crucial for happiness.
People who are feeling good but want to feel better, or people who are going through a change and want to find that next place that will make them happier would achieve so much benefit by being in a trusting coaching partnership. It’s enormously beneficial to have a coach who is chock full of emotional intelligence, as well as skill, in addition to feeling that they’re happy to be alive.
Are you Happy? Could you be Happier? Happiness=Health…Health=Happiness.