Our ego is an interesting thing.  It’s a topic that comes up, perhaps not all the time, but frequently.  It usually comes up when we talk about someone having a “big ego”.  We don’t often talk about “he or she has no ego”.  Yet this “big ego” possession while seemingly talked about in a not so good way, is often something we don’t feel is too bad to have, it’s not like he’s mean, or she’s inconsiderate.  It’s more like this person with a big ego is sold on themselves. This person thinks they have it all going on, they think they are always right and that no one knows more than they do.  It’s difficult to communicate with someone like that person.  We all may know a teenager that has a “big ego”, or at least they have it a few days a week when they aren’t feeling like they don’t know anything and no one likes them at all.  When you get to be an adult and you have that big ego and you’re someone that feels that you’re always right, it makes you difficult to be around.  Does anyone know anyone like this?   The definition of egotisim is an exaggerated belief of self importance.  Is having this sense of self importance helpful to experiencing all life has to offer?  It doesn’t leave one open to newness in life.  Not if it’s your way or the highway.

Always having to be right is not a relationship builder. It interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and trust. It is destructive to self-esteem and self-confidence of those other individuals that egotists are with, as well as preventing equality in relationships.

So it’s interesting.  We don’t publicly dismiss these egotistical people out there in the world.  We often might say how actors, politicians, many celebrities have large egos-we see that as a given part of the formula.  However, privately…personally, it’s not something we wish to be around, nor is it something we would like to be told we have become. What can shake one’s ego is a life altering experience. When someone realizes that they can not be in charge of everything all the time, they will definitely feel more a part of the whole instead of being the actual whole. Wouldn’t it be good if we could realize that without going through a traumatic situation?

I’m reading a book Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life, Living the Life of Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer who has repeatedly been on PBS. This may be a book that is familiar to some, it has a lot of interesting information. There is a chapter in the book about living beyond ego that I found to be very compelling.  This is a familiar example: Your spouse or friend is driving a car in which you are a passenger. You see the perfect parking space, but your mate drives right on by; or you watch him or her take a different route than you ordinarily do. Silently witness the degree of discomfort with your decision not to say something. Did ego let you know its preference?

The lesson: “Through selfless action, fulfillment is attained. By holding back ego’s demands, even for a few moments you will feel more and more filled.”

Like most things, too much of a good thing is not so good. Less is better. Try it.